30 Years of Faithfulness

Today my parents celebrated thirty years of marriage. We dug out their wedding pictures, laughed at the '70s fashions, and marveled at how ridiculously young and good looking they were. Thirty years is an awfully long time to be with the same person in our culture, and I'm so thankful for the attitude my parents have toward their marriage. I remember being wonderfully comforted as a child when my mom told me (prefaced with a "just in case you've ever worried about this...") that I didn't have to be afraid that they would ever get divorced; that divorce wasn't something they would ever consider.

The anomaly of my parents' long lasting marriage reminded me of my own counter-cultural lifestyle. After years of Christian schooling, having secular friends who don't really understand the motivation behind the whole waiting 'til marriage thing, or worse, ask me to explain the vagaries of the Christian dating scene, have made me particularly aware of just how weird it is. And sometimes it seems strange to me too: waiting for the right guy, or in the words of the Facebook group, "Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex" just isn't all it's cracked up to be. That's why I found writing 'Musings on Love' for ReZound, my church's arts event I helped plan, to be such a helpful exercise. My friend Erika and I wrote the Musings to give the event a theological focus, but also found the writing process to be an encouraging reminder of the theological basis for our sacrifices. Speaking of ReZound, you can see some pictures from that love-themed ReZound here (I'm in there somewhere, reading the Goforth's story), and hear one of the songs that was played here ('Peace for Today' should start playing automatically).

It's a bit long, but I thought that in honor of my parent's anniversary I would reproduce the scripture and Musings that were read at ReZound. They are broken up into three parts, which corresponded to the tripartite organization of the event: Creation, Fall, Redemption. For my Christian friends the Musings are meant as encouragement to continue in the sacrificial love we're called to. And to my to my dear non-Christian friends, please consider the following a first stab at explaining what I believe about love and why it has subversive (and at times uncomfortable) results.



Part I: Creation

Genesis 2:18-25

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib. The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

We were made for community. We need others. God made us in his image, male and female, with a potential for intimacy and relationship modeled on the community of his trinity. And it was good. We were able to be honest, naked, in perfect communion with God and each other.

But with this need for community came the potential for loneliness. God recognized this in his creation of Adam—being alone was not good for his human creature. Then came the fall. In the fall all relationships were fundamentally broken. Not only were we alienated from our creator, but we were alienated from our fellow creatures.

And so we are lonely. We crave intimacy; we want someone to truly know us; we want to be as vulnerable as in the Garden and feel full, shining, unconditional love. The fact is, we are not as good alone. Two are better than one, scripture says. A pair gets a better return for a day's work, has someone to help them recover from a fall, someone to keep them warm at night, someone who will help defend against a hostile world. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.



Part II: The Fall

Song of Solomon, 3:1-5

All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.

I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.

The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
"Have you seen the one my heart loves?"

Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother's house,
to the room of the one who conceived me.

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

The brokenness of human relationships takes many forms. We are selfish in our loving, pursuing our own feelings rather than seeking the other’s best. We make love an idol. Love comes too early or too late. There is enmity between men and women; we envy each other, we fight. Sometimes even our best efforts at reaching out to each other are frustrated. One act of unkindness can lead to broken relationship. One broken relationship can divide a family, a church, or a nation.

God tolerates this brokenness, giving us instructions for dealing with the ugly consequences of our sin, like divorce and adultery. But Christ calls us to a radical new way: “You have heard it was said…but I tell you…” In this unexpected turn of events hateful thoughts and lustful fantasies are on par with murder and adultery! But the most difficult part of the new calling is the complete death to self modeled by Jesus. “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Our attitude is to be the same as the one "who being very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant." Impossible! Yet God promises his perfect love to sustain us as we struggle to approach relationships with humility and selflessness, ready to sacrifice.



Part III: Redemption

Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Revelation 21: 1-4
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

God promises a time when the trials of bad relationships will be washed away and we will stand in perfect relationship to him. This perfect knowing is foreshadowed in the good relationships on earth. Good marriages, families, and friendships offer us a taste of the joy of community in that awaits us in heaven, when the Lamb is united with his bride.

Meanwhile, we can act rightly in relationships, imitating Christ’s perfect agape towards his bride. Like Christ we want to die to self in our service of each other, while we wait patiently for the end of time when all things will be made right. Somehow through this self-death God is making us perfect: the filthy rags which are our acts of righteousness are transformed, clothing the Bride of Christ in clean linen. The time is coming when, with all of heaven and earth, we will say: "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready."

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The illustrations are Marc Chagall's version of the Ruth love story (Naomi and her daughter-in-laws; Ruth and Boaz on the threshing floor; Ruth and Boaz at the end of the story), which I found while looking for ReZound Powerpoint images. I just love how Chagall's depiction of the threshing floor scene communicates the complete awkwardness of that situation. See? Weird and counter-cultural even then! (Although I'm not advocating this!)

Lully, Lulla...

In case there was ever any doubt that my family is cool, I offer this picture of my siblings as evidence of said coolness. That's Adelle on the

oboe, Erik on the cello, and Krista on the violin, engaging in the spontaneous playing of Christmas carols.

It was quite a musical Christmas--multiple occasions of caroling, the playing of a game with friends that required the singing of songs containing a given word ('Mary' and 'lamb' were very successful words, given our sacred music background), and of course, singing at our family New Year's Eve liturgical service that Adelle put together last year and is fast becoming a tradition.

Another conclusion from this Christmas: the Coventry Carol and All My Heart this Night Rejoices are amazing carols! That's not to say that they are my exclusive favorites, but they would fall into the category of favorite carols that my family sings. If we're talking about carols that the Choir of Kings College, Cambridge sings, well, that's another story. I don't even know that favorites are possible in that case. However, on the occasion of decorating Knox's Christmas tree and finding that almost the only ornaments available were apples (???) , my choir-loving friend and I discovered that there multiple Christmas carols involving apples: Adam Lay Ybounden and Jesus Christ the Apple Tree. Both have been sung by the King's College folks and rank high on my list of favorite carols. Check out these last two links to see some adorable and hilarious choir boys!

Sacramental Summer

Ask me what I did this summer and the most honest answer is lots of child care!
Silvia's young nieces Keara and Sierra were staying with her for the summer, and so were often at our house. Though this made life hectic, it was also brought us a lot of joy. As you can see by their pictures, the girls are as cute as anything, and they are full of personality (not to say attitude!) as well.



Keara is 7, really likes crafts, and is just learning to read. She's very much a people person, and alarmingly precocious when it comes to picking up on complex family dynamics. She's a self-proclaimed tomboy and likes playing with her boy cousins and doing outdoorsy things like biking.

Sierra is 3, likes to pet our rabbits, have tea parties and loves the colors pink and purple. While she doesn't know her colors yet (except for her two favorite), she does know the names of everyone in our family, which Keara hasn't quite mastered yet (those three grown up girls are so hard to keep straight!).

Keara got to go to Noah's Half-Day Camp, our church's VBS, along with a whole batch of Cody's friends and relations. Tito, Adelle and I taught second grade boys, aka 'The Monkeys'. What a week!

The whole Noah's Crew: Lianna, Izzy, Ariel, Cody, Tito, Keara, Danny and Kayla!

Adelle teaches the creation story using Playdoh and little plastic animals and plants--the boys got to help tell the story by putting on the relevant creatures. Naturally, they were totally enthralled. Not to brag or anything, but when it comes to teaching Bible stories, Adelle + Elissa = pure genius! How many people do you know who've taught the story of the bronze snake lifted up in the wilderness--complete with prop snake and cross? Or who brought a dead frog to talk about the resurrection (don't worry, it was all formaldehyded, left over from our homeschooling days). Adelle and I have really got to coauthor a SS curriculum one of these days!

It's all about choosing the sweet OT stories (and by sweet I mean bloody) which are so neglected these days, and putting them in a form which is memorable and appealing to little boys. I have had this backfire though--my retelling of Herod's gruesome fate (you know, his brain was eaten by worms) was a great hit with the boys in my Sunday School class, but the parents were less than thrilled. But hey, in my view it's better to risk grossing out the parents to than to let the kiddos think that the Bible is boring. Which is a real danger when modern Sunday School/VBS curriculum packages seem to have a problem grasping the concept of a Bible story. The Lord's Prayer is not a story, people! There is no narrative structure to the Sermon On the Mount--same goes for the Fruit of the Spirit! [Sadly, all real-life examples]. Jael and the tent peg? Or Ehud's swordplay? Now we're talking!


The wild monkeys! The VBS theme was space, and yes, Adelle and I were sucked into the VBS decorating wars! That's why if you look closely at this picture (click to expand) you'll see a rocketship on the moon, and little monkey astronauts, complete with 3-D plastic helmets floating about. There's nothing like those huge rolls of colored paper that you only see in the church craft closet to bring out your competitive side! Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed about it now, but I know if I was teaching VBS tomorrow, I would once again be sucked into the VBS Decorating Cartel. In my defense, at least the decor did serve a purpose--the space monkeys were the prizes for memorizing the Bible verses from the week (yet again thrilling the parents). Rather than memorize several disconnected verses, Adelle and I chose to go with Colossians 1:15-17, so the boys got to memorize these kicking verses:

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth,
visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;
all things were created by him and for him.
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Which actually brings me back to what I meant this post to be about, which is the some of the cool things that happened this summer.

The first is that Cody got baptized! Here he is afterward, walking out of the ocean toward his mom.
Cody's been following God since he was young, but at 9 years old, felt he was ready to publicly profess his faith. He'd recently watched I Am Legend and was moved by the main character's self sacrifice, which reminded him of Jesus. We are all so proud of him!



The second is that Jasmin and Juan got married! Jasmin is one of Cody's cousins, and one of the neighborhood kids I grew up with. She has two adorable little kids, Jojo and Jackie, and Juan and she have been together for quite a while. So it was great to see them making a commitment to each other, not something encouraged by their family or culture.

The third is that near the end of the summer Keara asked my mom "Jeanne, how much does it cost to be baptizmized?" When asked why she wanted to baptized, she gave answers which demonstrated a good understanding of what it means to follow Jesus, so, with her parents' permission, she was actually baptized before heading home. Here she is with the baptismal font.

All in all it was a most sacramental summer!

A California Christmas

We had a lovely Christmas. Numerous walks to the beach, carol singing, gingerbread house-making, and all manner of other traditional Rodkey activities. Of course, after snowy Toronto, I particularly appreciated the California sunshine.





Adelle sings the Messiah, I watch Erik carve the roast something or other, and Dad and Adelle play and sing for Christine.

Silvia, Cody and I go on a horseback ride. We could see the ocean from the mountain we rode up!








Christmas Eve Gingerbread (really Graham cracker) house building--a long and glorious tradition! This year Krista and I made an English cottage, complete with topiaries and a folly.











A rainy day walk to the beach with Cody.

On New Year's Eve we all congregated at Anne's house for a rousing game of Scrabble.


There's nothing quite like being home!

Thanksgiving

Ah, America! That was my reaction upon arriving in Chicago for a whirlwind celebration of "American Thanksgiving" with my sisters. I don't have many emotional ties to the Midwest, yet I found myself inordinately fond of the quintessentially American small town of Wheaton, where Adelle goes to school. The train that goes through the middle of town, the small shops on the main street, the signs of patriotism, the friendly people, all these made me feel that I had come home. Even the aspects of America that one hardly considers positive, such as commercialism and chain stores I found endearing quirks upon returning to my homeland. Here I know the culture, understand the people I encounter and am not likely to be disgraced by something as simple as buying a meal--accidentally giving a quarter when I mean to give a Loonie.

The only thing tempering our joy at our reunion was a paper on Kierkegaard Krista had to write, but we still managed to fit in lots of time together. We toured Wheaton College, met Adelle's friends, saw her church, danced around outside when it snowed, and went on many walks around town. Thanksgiving Day was celebrated with Adelle's friends Liz and Brynna and their inimitable parents. Adelle and Co. had masterminded a full Thanksgiving meal for us and pulled it off with only a small apartment kitchen and utensils. There were 9 of us and 9 pies--so enough for leftovers for days to come!

Lots to be thankful for. What made me think of writing a post was that this time last year I meant to post on something I was really grateful for. Last November I had just retaken the GRE and improved 160 points--a phenomenal change for a score out of 1600! I didn't know whether that would be enough to get me into grad school, but I was so thankful for God's grace in helping me to improve that much. Today I am nearly done with my first semester of grad school--paid do something I love. Regardless of the challenges involved in academic life, now's a perfect time to remind myself of my gratitude to the giver of all good and perfect gifts.

The Getty

We spent yesterday in LA, seeing Orthodox icons from Sinai, German landscape paintings and Impressionist paintings. As we don't believe in clutteirng up the place trying to take pictures of the artwork, we contented ourselves with taking pictures of the Getty's amazing architecture and ourselves.

However, to see the Icons, click here or here.